Why my parents should let me read The New Yorker

But first, some background: After an incident almost a month ago where I cursed at my younger sister, whose writing is also published on this blog--ad bots, take note--my mother decided my punishment would be, of all things, no longer being allowed to read the magazine The New Yorker.

To be clear, I’m not arguing about my innocence, which is especially pointless considering that the only active audience for this post will be my already fully convinced parents. I just want to read the magazines that have are at the time of this writing being hidden in the weird cabinet in the dining room or in the coat room or something.

1. Cursing, or any other learned behavior, doesn’t stem from a specific source.
1. Where do children learn gender roles?
2. Is it My Little Pony? Sesame Street?
3. Quick, choose one so we can ban it.

2. Preventing me from reading a publication with curse words won’t stop a child from cursing. Because children don’t learn curse words from a magazine publication.

1. They learn it from their parents.
2. Or their friends.
3. Or--maybe even-- The YouTube videos that another blogger on this site soaks up like an urban millennial does Lifewtr.
4. And they learn curse words much before they’re old enough to read magazines with “New York” in their name.

3. The benefits of reading works at an adult level far outweigh the negatives.

1. They introduce you to new philosophy and politics, books and music, food and culture. And, after a certain point, children’s and YA publications tend to be insultingly easy to read.
2. Well-rounded teens are needed. The National Center for Education Statistics found that current-day 12th graders are reading at a lower level than their 1990s counterparts.
3. Ask any adult and they’ll say that kids are getting more and more tech-dependent. Magazine or newspaper reading would be a god-send for most parents of teens.

4. The New Yorker doesn’t even curse that much.

Fifa 18

Fifa 18

"It's in the Sport!"

            "Good morning and what a wonderful match we have today at Stamford Bridge!" Those were the first words of Martin Tyler during the start of the new match I set up on Fifa 18, Chelsea VS. Liverpool. Blah blah blah Derby. Derby of the two best teams I know in the Premier League. Battling it out in a winner takes all battle to the final whistle. In the following words in this review I will address a pro and a con for Fifa to balance the scale of assistive feedback. 

            In Fifa you can play skill games to help your Fifa game improve to its highest ability. By enabling these skill games with more probing sessions than last edition it can improve you even faster. 

            Changing gears though, Fifa has an abundance of glitches that may effect gameplay. This leads to unwanted bundles of updates. Ruining gameplay! Updates last recorded lasting up to an hour and forty five minutes. And the worst component of this shebang is that it only updates while the xbox console is on.

            In the end, beware of these constant breakdowns in play, glitches, and sluggish updates that may effect gameplay. You'll never know when they'll appear in your home screen. All in all, this game should provide a relatively fun and enjoyable experience.

Fortnite

Fortnite

A Exclusive Look

          When I went to my friend's house once as a young and curious boy I discovered Fortnite. Already having known my mother disliked the free video game that required xbox live gold for xbox users and whatever online plan you use to battle with your friends on a playstation four. Though, it didn't  matter what console he had because it was so abundantly awesome I pondered how it could be that my mother thought otherwise of the game. So in this limited review I will attempt to list (in an orderly fashion) the positive and negative features of this video game created by game makers Epic Games for gamer's use. 

          Leading into the actual facts I found while playing and observing there are plenty of venues in this misshapen island in which to have a pleasant time planning where to land. On several occasions I thought, Should I land at Tilted Towers or Anarchy Acres. The sheer creativity needed to make the game needs to be fully credited I guarantee no other game with offer this positive and friendly. 

          Nevertheless, Fortnite concept is called out by many adults as immoral, but honestly the only possible thing Fortnite could do is boost your moral-e. But being fair we have to touch on all the touchy subjects and take a closer look on my mothers all around the world try and "Save the World" (heh, Fortnite joke even though battle royal is the one I am reviewing) or merely her son/daughter. Some mothers argue that Fortnite is merely about killing others people. No! Of course not! Silly, Fortnite is purely a fun survival game mixed with several other aspects of video gaming. So it is a great way to be motivated to create free time and pass it with friends or alone easily. 

          Concluding, Fortnite is a fun game and way to spend rainy days, spend time with friends, and become more efficient in your work load.   

Middlesex pool update

I was in swim class level 4 but there were not enough people in level 4 so they made it a combined class of level 4 and level 5. When I got the phone call I was so excited! Also I was scared because my first day in the deep end in level 4, I almost drowned. But a girl saved me and after that we moved to the shallow end.

The first day of level 4/5 was exciting because I learned a new breaststroke-kick exercise and a new freestyle kick exercise. Also, we went the long way and we swam longer. But I was surprised that I wasn't that tired. I think it's because I learned not to swallow the pool water.


"Being in level 4/5 really pushed me harder!" I now say. So now I am officially in level 5! I am super excited! Also, the pool is still great, so next year, I would like to see you sign up!

Dukes Farms

Duke Farms is awesome! It has awesome public bathrooms and a cool farmers market! It is a great place to bike and walk. It has some great nature talks! They make you feel appreciated and welcome because they have nice bathrooms and rooms. They loan you a bike if you don't have one! They build around animal habitats, meaning they work around animal habitats! On the weekends and summer days I love to spend my time there. But beware the closing hours because once my dad got locked in there!

PA Dutch farmers market!

I have to say their food is scrumdiddlyumpsous! The pretzels are so good. They are hand made. They cut and fold on site, freshly made always! Young and old work there and their service is great! They are very friendly! Home made lemonade and fruit juice! Pulled pork sandwich and onion rings, they have the best! That is why I love PA Dutch farmers market!

One thing that is not the best is that they are only open on Thursday Friday and Saturday. I wish they were open more, because their food is delicious! They are in a good spot in town and easy to find! 

Halo Pub - Princeton, New Jersey (Ice cream parlor)

Halo Pub 

6/20/18

Princeton, New Jersey  

By: Jesse

Halo pub, a beautiful ice cream parlor, beholds the best ice cream in all of Princeton, New Jersey. Looking towards all the positive aspects of the pub is that they are allergy friendly. If you have any allergy simply alert the employee at hand and then ask for the ice cream you want. They would promptly look into their freezer for a brand new ice cream tub to serve you. Shining away from their exceptional hospitality, the flavors displayed in the front display cases are quite creative and without a doubt yummy. Now, these flavors are Chocolate Heath Bar, M&Ms Plain, Mint chocolate chip without the food coloring, and many more interesting flavors. Though some of the flavors listed above aren't too creative, but they are healthier than some other options on the market. Not to mention, Staff and Employees always are smiling, jubilant, and enjoying conversations with customers. All in all, Halo pub is a complete parlor for ages young and ancient. So visit it soon before their bottomless freezer runs out of sweet delicacies. 

Middlesex Community Pool

There are pretty much no faults in the pools, if I do say so myself. Except you can't eat on the lawn. But there is a good reason for that, so bugs don't come! It is really awesome. I love the big pool, there's also a lap pool! But beware the baby pool because if you are not one of the culprits then you might be in a smelly situation! There are awesome swim lessons! I am in level four! I love the diving board and the little frog slide, but I don't go on the big slide. You need to pass the swim test or be 14 or over! All in All Middlesex pool is a great place to be!

Sakura Express - Princeton, New Jersey (Japanese Style Cuisine)

Sakura Express

6/20/2018

Reviewed by: Jesse

When my family and I visited Princeton, New Jersey on a summer weekday we were pleased to experience some Japanese cuisine in the kind town. Our family tried Chicken Teriyaki, Beef Teriyaki, and Shrimp Udon at Sakura Express. All three were exceptional foodie's finds. Starting with the Chicken Teriyaki I must say the presentation on the food decorations on the food wise was perfect. Although, their plates were styrofoam and the utensils were plastic. Not a reason to not travel to Sakura Express, but if you are planning to be having a super proper formal dinner I would not recommend this restaurant. Not taking a knock out of the awesome California rolls on the side and the yummy chicken. The Beef Teriyaki was almost identical except it was beef instead of chicken. Finally, Shrimp Udon was (besides a carb lovers dream) a very plentiful meal that came with flaky shrimp tempura. Shrimp tempura is shrimp deep fried with Japanese bread crumbs. It also was with vegetables tempura fried. The udon itself had no corrections or criticism from myself. By the same token as the styrofoam plates, water was served in paper cups and had no visible pitcher. But all the negatives and positives must peter out to the fact they have Japanese candy in a huge bowl for you to take which was sweet, tart, and a clear emerald green. Concluding, Sakura Express is a must have in your weekly Princeton diet.