Why my parents should let me read The New Yorker

But first, some background: After an incident almost a month ago where I cursed at my younger sister, whose writing is also published on this blog--ad bots, take note--my mother decided my punishment would be, of all things, no longer being allowed to read the magazine The New Yorker.

To be clear, I’m not arguing about my innocence, which is especially pointless considering that the only active audience for this post will be my already fully convinced parents. I just want to read the magazines that have are at the time of this writing being hidden in the weird cabinet in the dining room or in the coat room or something.

1. Cursing, or any other learned behavior, doesn’t stem from a specific source.
1. Where do children learn gender roles?
2. Is it My Little Pony? Sesame Street?
3. Quick, choose one so we can ban it.

2. Preventing me from reading a publication with curse words won’t stop a child from cursing. Because children don’t learn curse words from a magazine publication.

1. They learn it from their parents.
2. Or their friends.
3. Or--maybe even-- The YouTube videos that another blogger on this site soaks up like an urban millennial does Lifewtr.
4. And they learn curse words much before they’re old enough to read magazines with “New York” in their name.

3. The benefits of reading works at an adult level far outweigh the negatives.

1. They introduce you to new philosophy and politics, books and music, food and culture. And, after a certain point, children’s and YA publications tend to be insultingly easy to read.
2. Well-rounded teens are needed. The National Center for Education Statistics found that current-day 12th graders are reading at a lower level than their 1990s counterparts.
3. Ask any adult and they’ll say that kids are getting more and more tech-dependent. Magazine or newspaper reading would be a god-send for most parents of teens.

4. The New Yorker doesn’t even curse that much.