Totally True Diaries of a secret spy who I can't tell you what their name is because I shouldn't be sharing their diary with you anyway in general

Dear Diary,

Lately I feel like someone is stealing my diary and then photocopying them. I ain’t no special ops guy for the army but I can tell when someone is photocopying my notebook entries. Oh wait...scratch that I actually am a special forces and ops guy for the army. But it is unnerving to see someone care about you that much.

Wait hold! I am just using your diary entries so I can create a blogpost and play Fortnite. I don’t need your pity.

Anyway I really am starting to appreciate this person’s love for me.

Whoa, WHOA, WHOA! For the second time...I AM NOT DOING THIS BECAUSE I CARE.

UGGGGGGGGGH STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

Also, by the way back there on the words it means Stop not Stoop.

Though I don’t suspect it is my daughter. And also suspect none o my children at all.

That is more LIKE IT!

I kind of hate when they yell and scream and because of my bald powder disease that helps me repel criminals on missions I am always hungry, being also angry when I am hungry too.

Yes!

But my son...he is different! At first I hated his guts, but now he seems nice. I really cherish every moment with him. I think he is my secret admirer.

No way Jose! I need to finish my Blogpost. I do not need to be wrapped up in some weird father thinking his son is photocopying his top secret (and emotional) diary entries.

It’s jus-

NOOOOOO! This has to stop! Whatever, I don’t need your super interesting diary entries. I’ll just make my own looking like it cam from you, starting now:

It’s just he doesn’t make the best hamburgers and look like a penguin who stopped eating fish and went vegan for their whole sorry miserable life. (Wow I am good) Wait why am I writing my thoughts? I am stuck in an alternate time dimension of matrix in life or JUST TRYING TO GET MY BLOGPOST DOooooooooooone

By the way the answer was the latter.